To Khoen...

Khoen, I know you already know, because you are our angel and can see. But, I want to share with you anyways, because as your mommy, I like sharing everything with you, just as I do your big sissys, and your twin brother.

Mommy and daddy are trying to get a special teddy bear made in memory of you. It's going to be so cool, because it will really weigh how much you did when you went to live with Jesus! How amazing is that?

I will forever be able to hold my little Khoen bear, and remember, in a sense, how it felt to hold you. And, through the goodness of God, and people who love you even though they didn't get to meet you, we are over halfway there!

You are so special, Khoen! And loved by so many!

Of course, nothing can replace for me the sweet feeling of holding you, but this will help mommy so much. And your big sister Kenna, too. She misses you a lot, Kho.

Lately, she's been crying for you more, and begging for you to come back from Heaven. We know you can't come back, and after the glorious things you have seen where you are now, you wouldn't want to! And its ok, we understand.

It's hard for us, here on Earth, to deal with how it feels to not have you in our arms, in our laps. But its amazing to have your memory, every precious ounce of it, in our hearts.

You didn't get to stay with us long, and it hurts mommy to think about it. Mommy was so excited when you were born, and I couldn't wait to watch you grow up, and see your relationship with your siblings, especially your brother Mikah.

But now, mommy feels selfish. I want you here, to wipe your tears, and rock you, and teach you to play games, and have sleepovers where we stay up late and eat popcorn and watch movies.....to watch you play sports, to give you baths, to comfort you when you're scared. I want to be mommy to you in every sense of the word.

I have to constantly remind myself that you are happy, and you won't have tears, or fears, and get to have fun all day, every day. And as much as I love you, and daddy loves you, and Makenna, Kaisyn, and Mikah love you, God loves you MORE. You are that special, baby.

We are going to put the shirt you last wore on your bear, so it will both feel like you, and smell like you. So I can hold it when I cry for you, and just remember your sweet, perfect little face.

I miss you so much, sweetie, but I promise I will see you soon. It may seem like eternity to me here on Earth, but it will be a flash to you. And mommy is never going to let you go again. What an amazing day that will be.

Watch over us, Khoen, as I know you will. And watch over those who are helping us.....they are truly some amazing people. (Hold him tight, Lord.....and let him know how much we love him. I trust you to do that Lord. I love you)

Mommy loves you Kho, and I miss you more everyday. See you soon, baby....love you, always. Your Mommy.