It is almost 11 o'clock. Only an hour away from midnight, and from my boys first birthday. I am an emotional wreck, but I am doing my best to hold it together.
I don't know if I will get a chance to get on here tomorrow and write this, so I wanted to do it tonight.
Tomorrow, I will be focusing on celebrating the amazing progess that my sweet Mikah has made in the past year. My little four-pound, 32 weeker, who couldn't drink from a bottle, and is now trying his hardest to learn to walk holding onto furniture, and stand on his own.
And, I will be making a special trip to pick up some balloons, and take them out to Evergreen, to leave with Khoen, and release later. <3
But tonight, I want to write a letter to my sweet Khoen. The things I want to say to him, but can't. So that's exactly what I'll do.
Khoen,
You are amazing. From the moment I first saw you on the ultrasound screen, you had my heart.
I can remember when I first woke up from my emergency c-section...the first question I asked daddy was if you were ok. During labor, you scared mommy, because you kept dropping your heart rate. But daddy told me you were a strong, healthy boy, and I was so relieved!
The nurses told me you needed a little bit of oxygen when you were first born, but by the time daddy went into the NICU to take pictures for me, you had already proved to them that you were a big boy, and you could breathe just fine on your own!
It seemed like daddy was gone for an eternity when he went to see you and brother for the first time. I couldn't come yet...the nurses wouldn't let me out of my bed until my sedation completely wore off, and not being able to see your sweet face was tearing at my heart. But, when daddy came back, and showed me your pictures, only one word came to mind: Perfect. You are perfect.
Daddy took a picture of your little hand holding his finger, to help me see just how teensy you were. But I was proud of all 4 pounds 6 ounces of you.
The first time I got to come and see you, I cried. Happy tears, and proud tears, and tears of amazement, that you were mine. I remember feeling your skin, and touching your little fingers and toes, and just thinking that my life could not possibly get any better than it was at that moment.
Visiting you in the NICU for the first week was hard. Mommy was exhausted and sore, and riding through the halls in the hospital anticipating your sweet face wasn't fun. I wanted you in my room with me, I wanted to take you home with me. But, you had growing left to do, and I was going to help you do it.
I remember when they told me that Mikah was ready to move to the Progressive Unit, because he was attempting eating a bottle, and he was eating 35mls with no residuals. I tried so hard to get you to try a bottle that night, but you wanted NOTHING to do with it! You were so silly and stubborn. But, I think you knew that I was sad that brother may move without you, because the nurse called us first thing the next morning to tell us that you had been AMAZING all night, tried a bottle, and had no residuals...and you were moving with brother!! I was so excited! Not to mention beaming with pride...you were such a big, strong, brave boy.
Visiting you in the PICN was so much better, because mommy could hold you more, and snuggle you, and feed you, and dress you in sweet little outfits that matched Mikah perfectly! Even though you outgrew your preemie outfits SO fast, and I had to give you big boy outfits, while brother barely fit into his preemies from being so small! You were SO big! And you were so alert...I absolutely loved to just sit and rock you, and sing to you, and talk to you, while you just looked up at me with the sweetest eyes. Dark blue eyes, that we knew would turn brown. You looked a LOT like daddy's little brother.
You probably think I'm crazy, but I remember rubbing your head, and thinking how perfectly round it was. And you had barely any hair, but it was darker than Mikah's, so you looked like you had more than him. You were my only brunette. <3
I remember the day they told me I could bring Mikah home. We had to take some training classes for your monitor that we knew you would be coming home with before we left with Mikah, since we wouldn't be able to come back up together easily once brother was at home. The day went by too quickly, and it was time for us to go. I had been rocking you, and I wasn't ready to leave you. I cried, and your nurse promised she was going to take extra special care of you. I was excited to have brother home, but I didn't want you to be alone. I wanted you with me.
Daddy wanted to do your diaper change before we left, and do you remember what you did to me?! I wasn't even standing next to you, I was sitting in a chair at least 3 feet away! And silly daddy left you uncovered while he got another diaper, and you pee'd ALL over me!! I guess you let me know how you felt about me leaving you, huh? I thought it was funny, and I wasn't mad at all. I just wanted to cuddle you even more.
A week later, it was time for mommy to stay with you. Do you remember that night like I do? You were perfect for me. You let me get some rest, even though it was hard because I was busy taking pictures of you constantly. One of the PICN volunteers had given you an extra special hat to wear, and you were so handsome in it! I still have it...it's in your special box here at our house. Along with your wubbanub pacifier that you always had to have. Sweet little monkey paci.
When we brought you home, life was perfect. You were the best baby. You were a little spoiled by mommy, or a lot in daddy's eyes, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
I remember one night when you went to Walmart with me and your godmommy, and you were silly and threw your paci UNDER a shelf! But you were so cute, we couldn't be upset. You were in your yellow Mickey Mouse shirt that night. I'll never forget.
Mommy had you spoiled at night, and you had to be held a certain way on my shoulder to eat your bottle and go to sleep. I rocked you that way every night. I don't know if I fully appreciated it then like I do now. I think I always knew I would have tomorrow. Not that I didn't enjoy it, i just took it for granted. I'll never do that again. Because if I could have just one more night with you in my arms, rocking in the green chair, asleep on my shoulder, I wouldn't move the whole night. I would just hold you and love on you for as long as I could.
Mommy still feels guilty that I wasn't here when you gained your wings, and I want to tell you that I'm sorry. Sometimes I wonder if you looked for me that night, since I wasn't here to rock you. If you were sad, and missed me as much as I missed you. I know daddy took such good care of you, and I'm sure you made him spoil you a little. But had I known that would be your last night with me, I would have been there for you, and held you until you took your last sweet breath.
I still don't know what happened. The certificate they mailed me says SIDS, but I don't believe them. Mommy knew there was something more, and I promise you I did all I could to make if better. I really did. I took you to all the doctors, and I trusted what they said. Then the next day, I would trust my mommy-gut and take you back. But all of the tests said you were ok, and so did all of the doctors. If I could have done more, I'm sorry. I really am.
I hope you know that I love you more than life itself, and I miss you with every breath I take. Not a moment goes by when you don't cross my mind, and when I don't feel you in my heart.
Sometimes, when we take videos at our house, we see something special in them. Is that you? If it is, please don't leave. I take comfort in that being you, and I don't want to lose that too.
I am so happy for you, Khoen. I'm happy that you don't have to feel pain, or sadness, or anything less than complete happiness. I'm happy that you are in Heaven, and in the arms of Jesus. I know you are so well taken care of, and I know grandmom and grandad spoil you so much. Please tell them how much I miss them, too. It's not easy for me without them, and it's even harder for me without you.
Sometimes I feel like I don't know where to go without you here, and I feel like I'm going crazy trying to find you. And other times, I can just look up at the sky, and smile, and feel peace knowing you are right beside me.
Right now, I can feel you hugging my heart.
I wish so much I could watch you eat your first cake with Mikah tomorrow. I wish so much I could watch you and him side by side, opening your presents, like twins should do. I wish so, so much that you were here, so I could be smiling rather than crying.
I know you are going to have a birthday party like we can't even imagine. A perfect party, with all of your favorite things, whatever they may be now. I wish I knew.
Makenna asks me all the time if you like certain things. Random things, out of no where. I think that's because you tell her that you like them, so that she can tell me.
Please don't stop letting Makenna, Kaisyn, and Mikah know that you are here. I don't want them to ever stop knowing that you are REAL. You are not a dream, you are so real, and the biggest blessing I have ever recieved was when God chose me to be your mommy.
I know that I had more time with you than anyone else on this earth. I had 7 months with you in my tummy, and 4 months with you in my arms. But it will never seem like enough.
You know what will be enough? When I get to spend eternity with you in Heaven. I can not WAIT to hold you again! You better get ready for the biggest squeeze in history, because I am not going to be able to let go!
If I had it my way, I would be able to look at you in a crib right now next to Mikah, rather than visiting you in Evergreen. But, God had extra special plans for you, and I can't be angry at that. I have to believe that, because without it, there would be no hope. No knowing that it isn't goodbye, but I'll see you later. And that would never be good enough for me.
I KNOW I will see you again. I know God is real. You proved that to me, and I will never be able to thank you enough for that gift. Did you even know that you did something that powerful for mommy? You are THAT special! Absolutely Perfect. Those are the only words that fit perfectly with Khoen Lee. <3
Thank you for being such a perfect son. I am so thankful that I am your mommy. I am going to send you some balloons for your birthday, and I hope you enjoy them! You big sissy's are going to blow some bubbles up to you, too...Makenna chose that. She loves you so much, and she misses you a lot. Please let her know that you are ok, and you are near.
I love you, sweet boy, and I miss you more than words can express. I don't know how to say it any other way. You are amazing, and perfect, and I will continue to think of you every day for the rest of my life. Thank you for letting me know that you are ok.
Happy 1st birthday, Khoen Lee McGinnis. I will be celebrating you, and I know you will feel it. I love you so, so much.
Love Always,
Mommy.
It officially took me an hour to write this, due to me crying. And at this exact moment, it is 12:01 am.
It is my twins first birthday.
Happy 1st birthday, Mikah James McGinnis. And Happy 1st birthday, Khoen Lee McGinnis. I love you both so much, and you will always be my dream come true. <3
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Monday, February 4, 2013
A year ago today...
It was Friday, January 27, 2012. I had a routine appointment at my OB to check on the twins. We had an ultrasound that day, as I was just a little past 30 weeks. It was just Dustin and I at the appointment; the girls had stayed with family.
Grandmom was in the hospital at CMC, which is right near my doctors office. So after my appointment, rather than walking to the car, we walked across the skybridge and went to see grandmom. She was always so excited to hear about the twins, and couldn't wait to meet them. We showed her the pictures from the day, and how big the boys were getting. She told us funny stories about her dad when her mom was pregnant with twins, and made us laugh like always.
She told us that she was so glad we had stopped by, because she had been lonely. Grandad had gotten an upset stomach that Wednesday that was still lingering, so he hadn't been able to come up to see her.
No one really thought too much about him having an upset stomach; he had been up at the hospital so much, and we felt sure he was run down from taking such good care of grandmom, so we all thought he had just caught a bug.
Dustin and I told grandmom bye, and we loved her. We headed home.
Saturday was pretty normal; as normal as it gets when you are in the later part of a twin pregnancy. And then Sunday, it all started.
Mom called me on her way from from church. She didn't stay for preaching, because she felt like she needed to get home and go see grandad. He had called her and told her he was having some trouble breathing, and just wasn't feeling right. His stomach was still upset as well. She could tell by his voice that he was out of breath, and it worried her. So she called my aunt, Angie, and they decided it was best to take him to the ER over at CMC.
She had called just to let me know that they were heading over there, so she may not be able to answer her phone if I called. I asked if he was ok, and she said she thought so, they just wanted to have him checked out. Other than the upset stomach and the shortness of breath, he was fine. His shoulder hurt a little, but he was always helping grandmom up and down, and that wasn't easy on him, so no one, including himself, had even given that pain a second thought.
I didn't hear anything else until that evening when my dad called. I was actually taking a bath, because I wasn't feeling the best. I could tell in his voice when he first answered that something wasn't right.
"Grandad had a heart attack."
What?! When?! The answer surprised us all...he had a heart attack that Friday, 2 days before he ever even became short of breath. He had no chest pains. Just an upset stomach. They called it a silent heart attack. We were all shocked, but at the same time we automatically thought, 'Well, it can't be that bad then, since he didn't even know! He will be fine!'
Mom called me later that night, and said that they were going to do a heart cath on him in the morning, since he was stable at the time. He was talking to his nurses about Carolina, and telling them about his die-hard love for his Tarheels. Mom and Angie left be around midnight or a little after and headed home. Grandad was just going to sleep, and they would head back up the next morning.
The next day around 11am, dad called. Once again, I knew something was very wrong. He said that mom had received a call that grandad had taken a turn for the worst. He had to be put on a ventilator, and pretty much into a drug induced coma to keep him from fighting the vent. They were doing an emergency cath as we spoke.
The cath showed that he had a 100% blockage in his main artery to his heart. How could it be that bad, when he didn't even know he was having a heart attack?! I was terrified, but still thought there was no way he wasn't going to beat this. My grandad was in such great health. He still went walking daily, and took amazing care of grandmom. He was a truely amazing man.
Monday and Tuesday didn't hold good things for grandad. His heart was only functioning at 5% what it had been before the heart attack, and he couldn't keep his blood pressure up without medicine. He was still on the ventilator, but would respond by moving his hand if you talked to him. I visited him once, and it was almost too much for me. I couldn't bare seeing him like that. THAT wasn't grandad. THAT was just scary.
Grandmom was released on Tuesday morning from the hospital, and Dustin and I took Makenna to visit her. Something was very wrong.
She was at a rehab center, and when we walked in, she was doing something with her hand on the sheet that looked like she was sewing. Grandmom had been sick, but had always been very much in her right mind. She wasn't the type of person to get confused, or hallucinate, or anything like that.
We said hey to her, and she greeted me as Angie, which was VERY odd. Like I said, I could tell something was very, very wrong, so I just went along. She asked if I could help her find her needle, because she was trying to stitch the drapes...Dustin and I didn't know what to do, so I called my mom, and Dustin just nicely played along with her so as not to upset her. He is an amazing man.
Mom said to get a nurse, and have them check her blood pressure, and ask about medicines. So I went to look for one. They said they would send her nurse down asap, so I went back to the room to wait.
Grandmom proceeded to tell us about the little boy who was in her little closet in the room, that we needed to find his mom because he wasn't wearing his pants, and he would get cold. I was SCARED, so I went to stand by the door and look for the nurse, and call my mom again.
I was standing alone, and grandmom looked at me and said, "Oh, Meredith, who's your friend?" I asked if she meant Dustin, and she said no, the girl standing beside me. That was enough for me! I told her I would be right back, and went and demanded a nurse NOW.
Turns out her blood pressure was through the roof, 239/140ish....and she had a high fever that was making her delirious and hallucinate. They called an ambulance, and she was rushed back to CMC.
Wednesday, I had to see grandmom again, to see that she was doing better and was back to her old self. My aunt watched the girls so that Dustin could go with me up to the hospital, and we stayed with grandmom most of the day. She was feeling much better, knew who I was again, but was exhausted. They had put her on a liquid diet, and she wouldn't have anything to do with it. She was hungry, but wanted food. So they ordered a swallow study, and she passed.
Everyone kept warning me that I needed to go home and rest, and take it easy, and stop stressing so much, because I was going to go into labor. I was feeling pretty good though, and I couldn't not worry! Grandad was grandmom's clutch, and he couldn't be with her. So I wanted to be.
We finally went home before dinner that evening, and I headed to bed early. I was exhausted and my feet were swollen. We decided we had better take things easy Thursday because I was having a few contractions. Nothing major, and nothing strong, so I figured it was just from exhaustion from the day before.
We also learned that Thursday that grandad's kidneys were failing. They attemped dialysis, but his body was too weak. So they were going to wait and try again the next day, after he had a chance to rest. His heart wasn't doing any better.
Friday morning I woke up feeling sick. I was having contractions that still weren't strong, and were like half an hour apart, so I contributed them to being braxton-hicks, and tried to dismiss them. By that evening, they were coming about every 10 minutes, and slowly getting closer and closer together, as well as stronger. I called the doctor, and they told me to get straight to the hospital, labor and delivery unit.
Dustin and I headed over, and my mom came and met us. She was already up at the hospital, checking in on grandmom and grandad. I was the 3rd in the family admitted to CMC in a week! And, we were all there at the same time! It was crazy! This was Feb 3, 2012.
They got me straight into a room and hooked me up to all kinds of monitors. They were monitoring my contractions, both the boys heart rates, and my heart rate. Sure enough, my contractions were getting stronger, but I was only dilated to 1cm, which was reassuring. So they started talking about medicines.
They couldnt give me the first medicine they wanted to try, because it sped up your heart, and mine was already at 144bpm without medicine. So they tried a different kind of medicine, I can't remember the name, but it was in pill form. It did NOTHING. The contractions kept coming, and I was now dilated to a 3.
So they hooked me up to the dreaded magnesium sulfate. It made me feel yucky, and I couldn't get out of bed while I was on it. My nurse was AWESOME, and was so understanding to me. My mom spent the night, so she could be closeby grandmom and grandad too. Dustin went home to be with the girls. He was going to head back up if anything changed.
Around 2 am, the morning of Feb 4, a Code Blue was called over intercom to the Dickson Heart Unit. That's where grandad was, and I remember distinctly telling my nurse I hoped it wasn't him. The amazing nurse offered to go and make sure it wasn't. But she didn't even have to go check; my moms phone rang right then. It was Angie. The Code Blue was for grandad. They had managed to resucitate him, but mom and Angie had to decide if they wanted it done again. Grandad was so weak, and there was no chance short of a a miracle that he was going to improve. So they had to make the hard decision of signing a DNR.
It was right around 6:30 am when I heard the Code Blue, Dickson Heart Unit called again. I knew. Mom ran. I cried until I wanted to puke. My nurse sat with me and held my hand until we knew for sure. I called Dustin and told him to please get up to the hospital asap.
It took my mom about half an hour to get back, and when she did, she was crying. It made everything that I was so scared to hear very real. My sweet, sweet grandad, the most genuine man I've ever known, had gained his wings. My heart was in a million pieces, but my nurse did all she could to help me calm down. Getting upset made contractions worse.
The rest of the day was a blur. I was able to be unhooked from the magnesium, because my contractions had slowed to almost nothing. Family and friends of the family who had come up because of grandad stopped by to say hey, and share condolences. They offered to take me by wheelchair to see grandad before the coroner took him away, but I couldn't do it. I didn't want to get my labor started again.
I still couldn't get out of bed because of the magnesium in my system, so I just stayed there and cried overnight. The next morning, they moved me to the ante-partum unit of the hospital, where they wanted to monitor me for one more night. They wanted me to walk around my room, and shower, and do things like normal, but still take it VERY easy, and see what my contractions did. They were still consistently there, but very few and far between. No longer painful. So on Monday afternoon, they released me from the hospital on strict bed rest.
Before I left, they brought me a wheel chair, and let Dustin take me up to see grandmom. That was the hardest thing I had had to do, up until then. She was heartbroken, and it hurt so much to see her that way. She told me how much she missed him, and how much she loved me, and to take care of me and the babies. I assured her I would, and prayed with her, and kissed her goodbye. And we headed home.
It was almost 8 at night when we got home, and we ate a late dinner with the girls. Someone had brought us ribs for dinner, and it was amazing! We ate, and put the girls to bed, and watched some TV. Around 10:30, I started having a terrible shooting pain in my right shoulder. I figured it was either a side effect of the magnesium, or from laying in the hospital bed the wrong way, something like that. I didn't figure it was anything more. I took some tylenol, and used a heating pad on it, but it kept me up the whole night. I cried, from both sadness over grandad and pain in my shoulder, and just couldn't rest.
It was 6:30 am when I finally fell asleep, on Feb 7. Tuesday. Dustin let me sleep, and I didn't wake up until 2 in the afternoon. I felt SO sick, and had Dustin bring me some zofran right away, along with an ice water. I called my sister, and told her about how sick I was feeling, because I always feel sick before I go into labor and it worried me.
About 3, I decided to get in the bath. Dustin ran a bath for me, and I was still on the phone with my sister. He went downstairs to get me another drink, and I was stepping into the bath, when my water broke. I screamed. My sister screamed on the phone. She immediately told me not to panic. But as soon as my water broke, the contractions started. One after another after another, about 3 minutes apart, and STRONG. They lasted about a minute each. I was petrified.
Laura called my mom and was already headed to my house. My sweet mom, bless her heart, thought we were exxagerating a little, so it took her a little bit to clean up at school and get to my house, which is like 2 minutes from her school. It was 3:45 when she got there, and by then my contractions were less than a minute apart, and lasting what felt like an eternity, but in reality was only about a minute and a half. I made my way to her car, having to sit down with every contraction on the way, and while they debated on whether to drive or call 911, I tried to breathe through contractions and not scream so I wouldn't alarm all of our neighbors!
After about 2 minutes of debate, I yelled for her just to start driving, and she did. Laura followed in her car. Half way there, the pressure started. Women who have had a baby naturally know what I mean. You feel like you have to push the baby out...NOW. I had to hold my legs together so tight that I had bruises on my ankles. I screamed. I couldn't breathe, and thought I was going to pass out. I honestly knew Mikah was coming out in the car.
After about 7 years of driving (which was really only about 30 minutes, but trust me, in full labor with twins it seems MUCH longer), we made it to CMC's emergency room. The idiot that opened my car door saw the shape I was in, and asked if I could walk to the door for a wheel chair...umm, sure. My baby is about to fall out of me and I'm in such excruciating pain that I can't catch a full breath, but yes, let me walk to the wheelchair to make your job easier! NOT!
They got me a bed, and I don't remember them transferring me from the car onto it. The next thing I remember is being in a hallway, with them pushing me very quickly towards an elevator. I was screaming, and there were people all around me. Between contractions, I would look around and tell them I was sorry, because I didn't want to scare all the kids. But when the contractions hit again, the screams were back on!
The doctor told me he needed to check me, but I told him I couldn't move. That if I moved my leg, one of the babies was going to come out. So he told me to hold tight, and we got onto an elevator. We went up to the eighth floor, me still screaming, and into a traige room right there at the elevator. There, the doctor told me he really had to check me this time. But the moment I moved my leg, Mikah James McGinnis was born, butt first, at 4:45 pm, into the doctors hand.
I don't remember hearing him cry at first. I remember feeling temporary relief, yet fear because I still had ANOTHER baby to deliver, and there was no way they could give me pain medicine. I guess they moved me into an OR, but I don't really remember. I remember Dustin walking in, and seeing him for a second. I remember glancing to the other side of the room, where Mikah was all wrapped in a blanket and in a little bassinet, and Dustin seeing him for the first time.
Then I remember the nurse screaming that Khoen's heartrate was going lower and lower. I remember them holding my hand and telling me they had to get him out right now. I remember them cleaning my stomach for an incision, and pulling up a HUGE tray of operating tools. And I remember looking at the nurse and asking her to please not let them cut me while I was awake, because I had NO pain medicine whatsoever. She told me just to take a deep breath and count to 10, and thats all I remember.
Khoen Lee McGinnis was born by emergency c-section that day at 4:59 pm just 14 minutes after his twin brother.
In a matter of 5 days, I had gone into preterm labor, lost my grandad to a heart attack, gone through actual labor with NO pain medicine, and had my first c-section, and delivered healthy twin boys.
Remembering all of this, and where I was this time last year isn't easy. It is painful; even more so now that Khoen is in Heaven as well.
We brought Mikah home from the NICU on March 5, and Khoen came home a week later, on March 12. Grandmom passed away in the ICU at CMC a week later, on March 19. She never got to meet the twins in person, and it has always broken my heart.
But, less than 2 months later, Khoen joined her and grandad in Heaven, and my world fell apart. I am still working on putting it back together, little pieces at a time. It won't be for many, many more years that it starts to come together.
I don't know how I am going to survive their birthday. But, I will. God will see me through. So will grandmom and grandad, and especially Khoen. He will show me he is here with me, I'm sure of it. <3
Praying for strength as I make it through this week! Not just for me, but for my whole family.
Grandmom was in the hospital at CMC, which is right near my doctors office. So after my appointment, rather than walking to the car, we walked across the skybridge and went to see grandmom. She was always so excited to hear about the twins, and couldn't wait to meet them. We showed her the pictures from the day, and how big the boys were getting. She told us funny stories about her dad when her mom was pregnant with twins, and made us laugh like always.
She told us that she was so glad we had stopped by, because she had been lonely. Grandad had gotten an upset stomach that Wednesday that was still lingering, so he hadn't been able to come up to see her.
No one really thought too much about him having an upset stomach; he had been up at the hospital so much, and we felt sure he was run down from taking such good care of grandmom, so we all thought he had just caught a bug.
Dustin and I told grandmom bye, and we loved her. We headed home.
Saturday was pretty normal; as normal as it gets when you are in the later part of a twin pregnancy. And then Sunday, it all started.
Mom called me on her way from from church. She didn't stay for preaching, because she felt like she needed to get home and go see grandad. He had called her and told her he was having some trouble breathing, and just wasn't feeling right. His stomach was still upset as well. She could tell by his voice that he was out of breath, and it worried her. So she called my aunt, Angie, and they decided it was best to take him to the ER over at CMC.
She had called just to let me know that they were heading over there, so she may not be able to answer her phone if I called. I asked if he was ok, and she said she thought so, they just wanted to have him checked out. Other than the upset stomach and the shortness of breath, he was fine. His shoulder hurt a little, but he was always helping grandmom up and down, and that wasn't easy on him, so no one, including himself, had even given that pain a second thought.
I didn't hear anything else until that evening when my dad called. I was actually taking a bath, because I wasn't feeling the best. I could tell in his voice when he first answered that something wasn't right.
"Grandad had a heart attack."
What?! When?! The answer surprised us all...he had a heart attack that Friday, 2 days before he ever even became short of breath. He had no chest pains. Just an upset stomach. They called it a silent heart attack. We were all shocked, but at the same time we automatically thought, 'Well, it can't be that bad then, since he didn't even know! He will be fine!'
Mom called me later that night, and said that they were going to do a heart cath on him in the morning, since he was stable at the time. He was talking to his nurses about Carolina, and telling them about his die-hard love for his Tarheels. Mom and Angie left be around midnight or a little after and headed home. Grandad was just going to sleep, and they would head back up the next morning.
The next day around 11am, dad called. Once again, I knew something was very wrong. He said that mom had received a call that grandad had taken a turn for the worst. He had to be put on a ventilator, and pretty much into a drug induced coma to keep him from fighting the vent. They were doing an emergency cath as we spoke.
The cath showed that he had a 100% blockage in his main artery to his heart. How could it be that bad, when he didn't even know he was having a heart attack?! I was terrified, but still thought there was no way he wasn't going to beat this. My grandad was in such great health. He still went walking daily, and took amazing care of grandmom. He was a truely amazing man.
Monday and Tuesday didn't hold good things for grandad. His heart was only functioning at 5% what it had been before the heart attack, and he couldn't keep his blood pressure up without medicine. He was still on the ventilator, but would respond by moving his hand if you talked to him. I visited him once, and it was almost too much for me. I couldn't bare seeing him like that. THAT wasn't grandad. THAT was just scary.
Grandmom was released on Tuesday morning from the hospital, and Dustin and I took Makenna to visit her. Something was very wrong.
She was at a rehab center, and when we walked in, she was doing something with her hand on the sheet that looked like she was sewing. Grandmom had been sick, but had always been very much in her right mind. She wasn't the type of person to get confused, or hallucinate, or anything like that.
We said hey to her, and she greeted me as Angie, which was VERY odd. Like I said, I could tell something was very, very wrong, so I just went along. She asked if I could help her find her needle, because she was trying to stitch the drapes...Dustin and I didn't know what to do, so I called my mom, and Dustin just nicely played along with her so as not to upset her. He is an amazing man.
Mom said to get a nurse, and have them check her blood pressure, and ask about medicines. So I went to look for one. They said they would send her nurse down asap, so I went back to the room to wait.
Grandmom proceeded to tell us about the little boy who was in her little closet in the room, that we needed to find his mom because he wasn't wearing his pants, and he would get cold. I was SCARED, so I went to stand by the door and look for the nurse, and call my mom again.
I was standing alone, and grandmom looked at me and said, "Oh, Meredith, who's your friend?" I asked if she meant Dustin, and she said no, the girl standing beside me. That was enough for me! I told her I would be right back, and went and demanded a nurse NOW.
Turns out her blood pressure was through the roof, 239/140ish....and she had a high fever that was making her delirious and hallucinate. They called an ambulance, and she was rushed back to CMC.
Wednesday, I had to see grandmom again, to see that she was doing better and was back to her old self. My aunt watched the girls so that Dustin could go with me up to the hospital, and we stayed with grandmom most of the day. She was feeling much better, knew who I was again, but was exhausted. They had put her on a liquid diet, and she wouldn't have anything to do with it. She was hungry, but wanted food. So they ordered a swallow study, and she passed.
Everyone kept warning me that I needed to go home and rest, and take it easy, and stop stressing so much, because I was going to go into labor. I was feeling pretty good though, and I couldn't not worry! Grandad was grandmom's clutch, and he couldn't be with her. So I wanted to be.
We finally went home before dinner that evening, and I headed to bed early. I was exhausted and my feet were swollen. We decided we had better take things easy Thursday because I was having a few contractions. Nothing major, and nothing strong, so I figured it was just from exhaustion from the day before.
We also learned that Thursday that grandad's kidneys were failing. They attemped dialysis, but his body was too weak. So they were going to wait and try again the next day, after he had a chance to rest. His heart wasn't doing any better.
Friday morning I woke up feeling sick. I was having contractions that still weren't strong, and were like half an hour apart, so I contributed them to being braxton-hicks, and tried to dismiss them. By that evening, they were coming about every 10 minutes, and slowly getting closer and closer together, as well as stronger. I called the doctor, and they told me to get straight to the hospital, labor and delivery unit.
Dustin and I headed over, and my mom came and met us. She was already up at the hospital, checking in on grandmom and grandad. I was the 3rd in the family admitted to CMC in a week! And, we were all there at the same time! It was crazy! This was Feb 3, 2012.
They got me straight into a room and hooked me up to all kinds of monitors. They were monitoring my contractions, both the boys heart rates, and my heart rate. Sure enough, my contractions were getting stronger, but I was only dilated to 1cm, which was reassuring. So they started talking about medicines.
They couldnt give me the first medicine they wanted to try, because it sped up your heart, and mine was already at 144bpm without medicine. So they tried a different kind of medicine, I can't remember the name, but it was in pill form. It did NOTHING. The contractions kept coming, and I was now dilated to a 3.
So they hooked me up to the dreaded magnesium sulfate. It made me feel yucky, and I couldn't get out of bed while I was on it. My nurse was AWESOME, and was so understanding to me. My mom spent the night, so she could be closeby grandmom and grandad too. Dustin went home to be with the girls. He was going to head back up if anything changed.
Around 2 am, the morning of Feb 4, a Code Blue was called over intercom to the Dickson Heart Unit. That's where grandad was, and I remember distinctly telling my nurse I hoped it wasn't him. The amazing nurse offered to go and make sure it wasn't. But she didn't even have to go check; my moms phone rang right then. It was Angie. The Code Blue was for grandad. They had managed to resucitate him, but mom and Angie had to decide if they wanted it done again. Grandad was so weak, and there was no chance short of a a miracle that he was going to improve. So they had to make the hard decision of signing a DNR.
It was right around 6:30 am when I heard the Code Blue, Dickson Heart Unit called again. I knew. Mom ran. I cried until I wanted to puke. My nurse sat with me and held my hand until we knew for sure. I called Dustin and told him to please get up to the hospital asap.
It took my mom about half an hour to get back, and when she did, she was crying. It made everything that I was so scared to hear very real. My sweet, sweet grandad, the most genuine man I've ever known, had gained his wings. My heart was in a million pieces, but my nurse did all she could to help me calm down. Getting upset made contractions worse.
The rest of the day was a blur. I was able to be unhooked from the magnesium, because my contractions had slowed to almost nothing. Family and friends of the family who had come up because of grandad stopped by to say hey, and share condolences. They offered to take me by wheelchair to see grandad before the coroner took him away, but I couldn't do it. I didn't want to get my labor started again.
I still couldn't get out of bed because of the magnesium in my system, so I just stayed there and cried overnight. The next morning, they moved me to the ante-partum unit of the hospital, where they wanted to monitor me for one more night. They wanted me to walk around my room, and shower, and do things like normal, but still take it VERY easy, and see what my contractions did. They were still consistently there, but very few and far between. No longer painful. So on Monday afternoon, they released me from the hospital on strict bed rest.
Before I left, they brought me a wheel chair, and let Dustin take me up to see grandmom. That was the hardest thing I had had to do, up until then. She was heartbroken, and it hurt so much to see her that way. She told me how much she missed him, and how much she loved me, and to take care of me and the babies. I assured her I would, and prayed with her, and kissed her goodbye. And we headed home.
It was almost 8 at night when we got home, and we ate a late dinner with the girls. Someone had brought us ribs for dinner, and it was amazing! We ate, and put the girls to bed, and watched some TV. Around 10:30, I started having a terrible shooting pain in my right shoulder. I figured it was either a side effect of the magnesium, or from laying in the hospital bed the wrong way, something like that. I didn't figure it was anything more. I took some tylenol, and used a heating pad on it, but it kept me up the whole night. I cried, from both sadness over grandad and pain in my shoulder, and just couldn't rest.
It was 6:30 am when I finally fell asleep, on Feb 7. Tuesday. Dustin let me sleep, and I didn't wake up until 2 in the afternoon. I felt SO sick, and had Dustin bring me some zofran right away, along with an ice water. I called my sister, and told her about how sick I was feeling, because I always feel sick before I go into labor and it worried me.
About 3, I decided to get in the bath. Dustin ran a bath for me, and I was still on the phone with my sister. He went downstairs to get me another drink, and I was stepping into the bath, when my water broke. I screamed. My sister screamed on the phone. She immediately told me not to panic. But as soon as my water broke, the contractions started. One after another after another, about 3 minutes apart, and STRONG. They lasted about a minute each. I was petrified.
Laura called my mom and was already headed to my house. My sweet mom, bless her heart, thought we were exxagerating a little, so it took her a little bit to clean up at school and get to my house, which is like 2 minutes from her school. It was 3:45 when she got there, and by then my contractions were less than a minute apart, and lasting what felt like an eternity, but in reality was only about a minute and a half. I made my way to her car, having to sit down with every contraction on the way, and while they debated on whether to drive or call 911, I tried to breathe through contractions and not scream so I wouldn't alarm all of our neighbors!
After about 2 minutes of debate, I yelled for her just to start driving, and she did. Laura followed in her car. Half way there, the pressure started. Women who have had a baby naturally know what I mean. You feel like you have to push the baby out...NOW. I had to hold my legs together so tight that I had bruises on my ankles. I screamed. I couldn't breathe, and thought I was going to pass out. I honestly knew Mikah was coming out in the car.
After about 7 years of driving (which was really only about 30 minutes, but trust me, in full labor with twins it seems MUCH longer), we made it to CMC's emergency room. The idiot that opened my car door saw the shape I was in, and asked if I could walk to the door for a wheel chair...umm, sure. My baby is about to fall out of me and I'm in such excruciating pain that I can't catch a full breath, but yes, let me walk to the wheelchair to make your job easier! NOT!
They got me a bed, and I don't remember them transferring me from the car onto it. The next thing I remember is being in a hallway, with them pushing me very quickly towards an elevator. I was screaming, and there were people all around me. Between contractions, I would look around and tell them I was sorry, because I didn't want to scare all the kids. But when the contractions hit again, the screams were back on!
The doctor told me he needed to check me, but I told him I couldn't move. That if I moved my leg, one of the babies was going to come out. So he told me to hold tight, and we got onto an elevator. We went up to the eighth floor, me still screaming, and into a traige room right there at the elevator. There, the doctor told me he really had to check me this time. But the moment I moved my leg, Mikah James McGinnis was born, butt first, at 4:45 pm, into the doctors hand.
I don't remember hearing him cry at first. I remember feeling temporary relief, yet fear because I still had ANOTHER baby to deliver, and there was no way they could give me pain medicine. I guess they moved me into an OR, but I don't really remember. I remember Dustin walking in, and seeing him for a second. I remember glancing to the other side of the room, where Mikah was all wrapped in a blanket and in a little bassinet, and Dustin seeing him for the first time.
Then I remember the nurse screaming that Khoen's heartrate was going lower and lower. I remember them holding my hand and telling me they had to get him out right now. I remember them cleaning my stomach for an incision, and pulling up a HUGE tray of operating tools. And I remember looking at the nurse and asking her to please not let them cut me while I was awake, because I had NO pain medicine whatsoever. She told me just to take a deep breath and count to 10, and thats all I remember.
Khoen Lee McGinnis was born by emergency c-section that day at 4:59 pm just 14 minutes after his twin brother.
In a matter of 5 days, I had gone into preterm labor, lost my grandad to a heart attack, gone through actual labor with NO pain medicine, and had my first c-section, and delivered healthy twin boys.
Remembering all of this, and where I was this time last year isn't easy. It is painful; even more so now that Khoen is in Heaven as well.
We brought Mikah home from the NICU on March 5, and Khoen came home a week later, on March 12. Grandmom passed away in the ICU at CMC a week later, on March 19. She never got to meet the twins in person, and it has always broken my heart.
But, less than 2 months later, Khoen joined her and grandad in Heaven, and my world fell apart. I am still working on putting it back together, little pieces at a time. It won't be for many, many more years that it starts to come together.
I don't know how I am going to survive their birthday. But, I will. God will see me through. So will grandmom and grandad, and especially Khoen. He will show me he is here with me, I'm sure of it. <3
Praying for strength as I make it through this week! Not just for me, but for my whole family.
Friday, February 1, 2013
Another Day, Another Doctor!
Germs have overstayed their welcome in our house, to say the least! We went through a spell a while back where is seemed like we just couldn't kick the illnesses, and we've just been through it again!
It started 2 weeks ago, when Mikah started running a fever and got a nasty cough. We went to the doctor, and they said he had bronchiolitis. This was on a Friday.
The next Monday evening, Kaisyn spiked a fever. She just wasn't quite acting like her normal self, but we figured she was in the process of catching what Mikah had, so we weren't too concerned.
The next day, (Tuesday) while Kenna and Kaisyn were playing, Kaisyn started having random spells where she would just scream out in pain, and run to my holding her lower back. Mainly on her right side at first. This continued through the next morning, so of course we were headed back to the doctors office.
That day (Wednesday), the kids normal pediatrician wasn't in the office, so we saw another doctor. She wasn't concerned about the fever or the pain yet, because she said if Kaisyn had a UTI (which would be causing the pain in her back) she would be sicker, throwing up and crying when she pee'd. So she just said to keep watching her, and if she was still running a fever on Friday, to bring her back.
The next day, we were back in the office again, because Mikah wasn't eating and was feeling worse, and had developed a pretty mean wheeze.
This time, they sent us straight for chest x-rays, because the doctor thought he heard a crackly spot on Mikah's right lung. Turns out Mikah actually had multiple spots of pneumonia on BOTH lungs. So they started him on two different strong antibiotics, one for his bad ear infection and the other to knock out the pneumonia.
That Friday was an easier day. Mikah felt rough, and his antibiotics were making his little tummy really upset. But Kaisyn, for the first time all week, didn't spike a fever. So I thought we were turning a corner for the better!
The next day was when the fun REALLY began.
Kaisyn woke up that morning with a fever of around 101. Not too high, so we weren't too concerned yet. But by nap time, it was up to 103.5, so I knew something was wrong. She was having more of the spells where she would just hold her lower back and SCREAM, so I called the doctor again. It took FOREVER for them to call us back...
I had called them around 2 that aternoon, and we had a party to find out what a friend of our's baby is going to be that night at 6. My mom and dad came over to watch Kaisyn and Mikah since they weren't feeling well, and Dustin, Kenna, and I went to the party.
The nurse called me back while we were there, and made us an appointment to return to the office for both Kaisyn AND Mikah (who was still wheezing and was running fever again) the next morning (Sunday).
We got back to our house around 7:15, and I checked Kaisyn's fever. It was up to 104.7. We used 2 different thermometers to check it, and compared it to everyone else's in the house just to make sure that was right, and it was.
My other BIG concern with Kaisyn was that she wasn't eating or drinking...at ALL. And that girl usually has quite the appetite!
So I phoned the nurse again, and this time was put through to the urgent nurse since Kaisyn's fever was so high. They told me to put her into a lukewarm bath, give her popsicles, sponge her down, and take her to the ER if it went above 105. We did all of the above, and kept it under 105 the whole night.
Sunday morning at the doctors office, he said that he thought Mikah caught a virus on TOP of his pneumonia, and that was what was causing the fever and making him feel so crappy. So he wasn't too concerned since he was already on such strong antibiotics.
But he was a little concerned about Kaisyn and her not drinking, mixed with her random bouts of pain. So he ordered a urine sample be taken by cath, and bloodwork through a finger prick.
Both were done, and we were told her white blood count was fine, and her urine was clean, so just keep watching, and come back Tuesday if we were no better.
Home we went, again. And by 8 that evening, Kaisyn's fever was at 105.5, and Mikah's was at 104. So off to the ER we headed.
The nurse at the kids pediatric office told us to head to Presbyterian, so we did. While on the road to the hospital, I told my mom and Dustin that I really wanted to go to Levine's, but we figured that either way, the same things would be done, and the nurse wanted us to go to Presby, so we did. We went there with Khoen, too, and they dismissed his soft spot swelling as a virus, and said he would be fine. Two weeks later, well, you know what happened. That is a funeral I still wish I had never had to plan. :,(
Anyways, we were at Presby. Makenna was hospitalized there when she was an infant for RSV, and we had a great experience. So I guess it just depends on which doctors you see.
The doctor we saw in the ER was TERRIBLE. They took their temps in triage when we arrived, and of course we had just given them Motrin before we left the house, so their fevers were down. Which yes, that was a good thing, but I guess that made them look at us like we were retarded.
We were there for 5 hours before they called us back. When they did, the doctor literally listened to Kaisyn and Mikah's heart, and looked in Kaisyn's ears. And thats it. Her fever was BACK up as high as it had been when we headed that way, and they told us fevers, no matter how high, weren't dangerous. That the brain won't cook itself. Ok...that's fine, but I knows people who have children that have had seizures from fevers over 105. I was livid.
He told us to follow up with out pediatrician the next day, and released us. He offered Kaisyn some more Motrin before we left, and we asked them to give it to her, because she felt terrible. And we headed home, with me in tears.
The next morning, Kaisyn's fever was 105.1, so I called my mom to come over, and I took Kaisyn to Levine's. When we got there, her fever was 101.9, and she had Motrin in her. They were immediately running tests on her, and trying to get her to drink. (The other hospital completely ignored my comments about her not drinking at ALL that day, until she drank about 2 ounces of gatorade at the hospital.)
They did a chest x-ray, which was clear. They did blood work, which showed an elevated white blood cell count. They did a urine culture, which was clear of infection but showed she was dehydrated, and had white blood cells in her urine, which wasn't normal.
By this time, her fever was up to 104.9, and they had already given her Motrin. We couldn't get it to come down. She was miserable, barely opening her eyes and just whining at the slightest movement. They told us then that she would be admitted.
The doctors there were AMAZING. They even went a step further, and dissected her white blood cells to see what it was they were trying to fight. That's where things got weird. They described it to me like a pie chart. A normal person's white blood cells should always be fighting both bacteria and viruses at a certain level. When those levels are elevated, thats how they know what they are dealing with. The normal level for bacteria was like 45-50%, and hers was only at 51%, so they pretty much considered it normal. The normal level for viruses is like 30-35%, and hers was 33%, so very much in the norm.
But, her body had called in the immature white blood cells, which is what it usually does when it is fighting something bad and needs backup. Her immature white blood cell count in her body should have been at a 0, and it was at 4%. Not too high, but still cocncerning to the doctors.
She was admitted, put on IV fluids, and put on a strong antibiotic, because they weren't sure which other course to take at the time and decided to be on the safe side.
The night was pretty uneventful, Motrin kept her fever down, and she had 2 bad pain spells. And the next day, she was feeling somewhat better already, and ate some eggs for breakfast.
The doctors ordered another urine sample, and this one looked even worse. There were even more white blood cells. They ordered an ultrasound of her kidneys, and diagnosed her with a kidney infection. She had another round of IV antibiotics, and came home that evening. The ultrasound showed that the structure of her kidneys was all correct, so she could come home.
Since she's been home, she has been feeling MUCH better. The antibiotics have knocked out the fevers, and she is eating and drinking like before she was sick. I am a happy mommy!
I took Mikah back to the doctor that Wednesday, because he was still running fever. And again, I was told to bring him back in 2 days if he wasn't feeling better.
Today is Friday, and we went back to the doctor again with both Kaisyn and Mikah. Kaisyn for a hospital recheck, and Mikah for a recheck as well. Mikah sounds a lot better in his chest, so he is happy with his progress.
His MRI is scheduled for Monday, February 11. His doctor said if by Wednesday of next week his nose is still this stopped up, I need to call and have it pushed back a week. They don't want to sedate him until his chest is cleared up and his cold is pretty much gone.
And he is happy with how Kaisyn is doing. He said that he found it very unusual that Kaisyn had a kidney infection with all of her urine cultures coming back clean, so he had called to talk to the doctors at Levine's about it.
The doctors there told him that they wouldn't be shocked if it happens again soon. If it does, she will need to have more tests run to check the flow of her urine. She may have some urine being pushed into her kidneys when she pees, which would cause the kidney infections. So we just have to keep an eye out for spiking fevers or her crying out in pain and holding her back.
So for now we just wait and pray that is was just a fluke, and it won't happen again! If it does, we will figure it out and be by Kaisyn's side the whole way.
I am keeping Mikah secluded from people until after his MRI, haha! I don't want him to catch any new germs, so we can get this behind us! I am a nervous wreck about it and so ready for it to be done!
But I am praying that these germs are about to be done invading our house, and we can enjoy some healthy time as a family!
I pray all of you are doing well, and having a great week!
(((HUGS))) from the McGinnis'!!
It started 2 weeks ago, when Mikah started running a fever and got a nasty cough. We went to the doctor, and they said he had bronchiolitis. This was on a Friday.
The next Monday evening, Kaisyn spiked a fever. She just wasn't quite acting like her normal self, but we figured she was in the process of catching what Mikah had, so we weren't too concerned.
The next day, (Tuesday) while Kenna and Kaisyn were playing, Kaisyn started having random spells where she would just scream out in pain, and run to my holding her lower back. Mainly on her right side at first. This continued through the next morning, so of course we were headed back to the doctors office.
That day (Wednesday), the kids normal pediatrician wasn't in the office, so we saw another doctor. She wasn't concerned about the fever or the pain yet, because she said if Kaisyn had a UTI (which would be causing the pain in her back) she would be sicker, throwing up and crying when she pee'd. So she just said to keep watching her, and if she was still running a fever on Friday, to bring her back.
The next day, we were back in the office again, because Mikah wasn't eating and was feeling worse, and had developed a pretty mean wheeze.
This time, they sent us straight for chest x-rays, because the doctor thought he heard a crackly spot on Mikah's right lung. Turns out Mikah actually had multiple spots of pneumonia on BOTH lungs. So they started him on two different strong antibiotics, one for his bad ear infection and the other to knock out the pneumonia.
That Friday was an easier day. Mikah felt rough, and his antibiotics were making his little tummy really upset. But Kaisyn, for the first time all week, didn't spike a fever. So I thought we were turning a corner for the better!
The next day was when the fun REALLY began.
Kaisyn woke up that morning with a fever of around 101. Not too high, so we weren't too concerned yet. But by nap time, it was up to 103.5, so I knew something was wrong. She was having more of the spells where she would just hold her lower back and SCREAM, so I called the doctor again. It took FOREVER for them to call us back...
I had called them around 2 that aternoon, and we had a party to find out what a friend of our's baby is going to be that night at 6. My mom and dad came over to watch Kaisyn and Mikah since they weren't feeling well, and Dustin, Kenna, and I went to the party.
The nurse called me back while we were there, and made us an appointment to return to the office for both Kaisyn AND Mikah (who was still wheezing and was running fever again) the next morning (Sunday).
We got back to our house around 7:15, and I checked Kaisyn's fever. It was up to 104.7. We used 2 different thermometers to check it, and compared it to everyone else's in the house just to make sure that was right, and it was.
My other BIG concern with Kaisyn was that she wasn't eating or drinking...at ALL. And that girl usually has quite the appetite!
So I phoned the nurse again, and this time was put through to the urgent nurse since Kaisyn's fever was so high. They told me to put her into a lukewarm bath, give her popsicles, sponge her down, and take her to the ER if it went above 105. We did all of the above, and kept it under 105 the whole night.
Sunday morning at the doctors office, he said that he thought Mikah caught a virus on TOP of his pneumonia, and that was what was causing the fever and making him feel so crappy. So he wasn't too concerned since he was already on such strong antibiotics.
But he was a little concerned about Kaisyn and her not drinking, mixed with her random bouts of pain. So he ordered a urine sample be taken by cath, and bloodwork through a finger prick.
Both were done, and we were told her white blood count was fine, and her urine was clean, so just keep watching, and come back Tuesday if we were no better.
Home we went, again. And by 8 that evening, Kaisyn's fever was at 105.5, and Mikah's was at 104. So off to the ER we headed.
The nurse at the kids pediatric office told us to head to Presbyterian, so we did. While on the road to the hospital, I told my mom and Dustin that I really wanted to go to Levine's, but we figured that either way, the same things would be done, and the nurse wanted us to go to Presby, so we did. We went there with Khoen, too, and they dismissed his soft spot swelling as a virus, and said he would be fine. Two weeks later, well, you know what happened. That is a funeral I still wish I had never had to plan. :,(
Anyways, we were at Presby. Makenna was hospitalized there when she was an infant for RSV, and we had a great experience. So I guess it just depends on which doctors you see.
The doctor we saw in the ER was TERRIBLE. They took their temps in triage when we arrived, and of course we had just given them Motrin before we left the house, so their fevers were down. Which yes, that was a good thing, but I guess that made them look at us like we were retarded.
We were there for 5 hours before they called us back. When they did, the doctor literally listened to Kaisyn and Mikah's heart, and looked in Kaisyn's ears. And thats it. Her fever was BACK up as high as it had been when we headed that way, and they told us fevers, no matter how high, weren't dangerous. That the brain won't cook itself. Ok...that's fine, but I knows people who have children that have had seizures from fevers over 105. I was livid.
He told us to follow up with out pediatrician the next day, and released us. He offered Kaisyn some more Motrin before we left, and we asked them to give it to her, because she felt terrible. And we headed home, with me in tears.
The next morning, Kaisyn's fever was 105.1, so I called my mom to come over, and I took Kaisyn to Levine's. When we got there, her fever was 101.9, and she had Motrin in her. They were immediately running tests on her, and trying to get her to drink. (The other hospital completely ignored my comments about her not drinking at ALL that day, until she drank about 2 ounces of gatorade at the hospital.)
They did a chest x-ray, which was clear. They did blood work, which showed an elevated white blood cell count. They did a urine culture, which was clear of infection but showed she was dehydrated, and had white blood cells in her urine, which wasn't normal.
By this time, her fever was up to 104.9, and they had already given her Motrin. We couldn't get it to come down. She was miserable, barely opening her eyes and just whining at the slightest movement. They told us then that she would be admitted.
The doctors there were AMAZING. They even went a step further, and dissected her white blood cells to see what it was they were trying to fight. That's where things got weird. They described it to me like a pie chart. A normal person's white blood cells should always be fighting both bacteria and viruses at a certain level. When those levels are elevated, thats how they know what they are dealing with. The normal level for bacteria was like 45-50%, and hers was only at 51%, so they pretty much considered it normal. The normal level for viruses is like 30-35%, and hers was 33%, so very much in the norm.
But, her body had called in the immature white blood cells, which is what it usually does when it is fighting something bad and needs backup. Her immature white blood cell count in her body should have been at a 0, and it was at 4%. Not too high, but still cocncerning to the doctors.
She was admitted, put on IV fluids, and put on a strong antibiotic, because they weren't sure which other course to take at the time and decided to be on the safe side.
The night was pretty uneventful, Motrin kept her fever down, and she had 2 bad pain spells. And the next day, she was feeling somewhat better already, and ate some eggs for breakfast.
The doctors ordered another urine sample, and this one looked even worse. There were even more white blood cells. They ordered an ultrasound of her kidneys, and diagnosed her with a kidney infection. She had another round of IV antibiotics, and came home that evening. The ultrasound showed that the structure of her kidneys was all correct, so she could come home.
Since she's been home, she has been feeling MUCH better. The antibiotics have knocked out the fevers, and she is eating and drinking like before she was sick. I am a happy mommy!
I took Mikah back to the doctor that Wednesday, because he was still running fever. And again, I was told to bring him back in 2 days if he wasn't feeling better.
Today is Friday, and we went back to the doctor again with both Kaisyn and Mikah. Kaisyn for a hospital recheck, and Mikah for a recheck as well. Mikah sounds a lot better in his chest, so he is happy with his progress.
His MRI is scheduled for Monday, February 11. His doctor said if by Wednesday of next week his nose is still this stopped up, I need to call and have it pushed back a week. They don't want to sedate him until his chest is cleared up and his cold is pretty much gone.
And he is happy with how Kaisyn is doing. He said that he found it very unusual that Kaisyn had a kidney infection with all of her urine cultures coming back clean, so he had called to talk to the doctors at Levine's about it.
The doctors there told him that they wouldn't be shocked if it happens again soon. If it does, she will need to have more tests run to check the flow of her urine. She may have some urine being pushed into her kidneys when she pees, which would cause the kidney infections. So we just have to keep an eye out for spiking fevers or her crying out in pain and holding her back.
So for now we just wait and pray that is was just a fluke, and it won't happen again! If it does, we will figure it out and be by Kaisyn's side the whole way.
I am keeping Mikah secluded from people until after his MRI, haha! I don't want him to catch any new germs, so we can get this behind us! I am a nervous wreck about it and so ready for it to be done!
But I am praying that these germs are about to be done invading our house, and we can enjoy some healthy time as a family!
I pray all of you are doing well, and having a great week!
(((HUGS))) from the McGinnis'!!
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